who we used to be- by Anonymous

Surely there was a time where

my heart belonged to the gentle lulls

of the ocean tides

lapping on moonlit shores;

surely there was a moment where

I longed to be

wrapped in the shroud of

night’s darkness there

next to you.

Surely there were days where

my crestfallen eyes

and sunken cheeks

grew rosy

with the possibility of

a bettering world;

surely there were sunsets where

I wanted nothing more than

to hold my breath

and disappear

into the hushed nothings of

my isolated world.

I never believed in

sacrifice, until I met you.

I never knew of love

until I met you.

I never felt such

rueful hate, until I met you.

I never wanted

care,

death,

family.

Until I met you.

These days there is only

radio silence that

echoes in the shells of

what I used to be, what I used to feel.

These days there are only

empty words and

half written apologies for

accidents and horrible times

I cannot begin to recall.

Times I cannot begin to forget.

Surely there was a time where

all I needed were

faint stars and a fog-covered moon,

a saint reaching down to guide me;

surely there was a time where

all I needed were

heavy words fueled with anger

to escape my sewn lips,

a prayer always failing to save me.

Lost in the silence of it all,

surely I must have loved you.

Lost in the heat of it all,

surely you must have known.

Lost in the world,

the shadows,

the words,

we must know that

we can never speak of

who we used to be.

who we used to be

 

Illustration by Collette Harrison

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